Return to Him. He Will Restore You.

Recently I shared with a few people how God's Word convicted and humbled me. This is just one instance of what seems to be a season of conviction. It is good that the Lord is working on me. It is when we are not experiencing conviction or fighting our flesh that we should raise concern and question our continuance in the faith. To put this in context, this particular time of conviction happened after God convicted me about control, especially self-control, and before He convicted me about being obstinate toward the Holy Spirit.

I have been distracted by something since last fall and did not, until now, realize the negative effect it was having on me--the strain it produced on my relationship with God. I still don't know its exact impact, and maybe I never will, but it is one of those things that is not inherently bad but becomes bad--more precisely, sin--when I follow it instead of Christ, when it leads me astray and not to Christ. Instead of my taking its related thoughts captive to obey Christ, it captured my attention and became my frequent thoughts. This led me to apathy in my walk with the Lord because I drew more pleasure from my new thoughts than from my fellowship with Him. I began to neglect the disciplines, including prayer and daily Bible intake. At first I allowed the "something" but was strict about how much attention I gave it and what kind of attention I gave it. I first devoted it to prayer and trusted God with the outcome. Slowly, like wearing down a knife to the point of dullness, it, through intermediary means of my flesh, ground down my will to keep it within the bounds I had formed.

Now that I have described the progression of sin, let me briefly account for the progression of pain. The consequences of my actions above were trouble and weakness. Sin always brings trouble eventually, and I was weak, or at least weakening, because I was not being strengthened in the Lord through the disciplines. The resulting pain I experienced stemmed not just from this "something" but virtually from my whole life, for this sin problem surpassed the "something." It was like a virus unleashed on my life. By this time, my attitude had changed, and the pain had reached major infiltration. It was not a physical pain that can be felt with the body but a spiritual pain. Do you see the snowball effect of sin? Sin leads to more sin.

All of the last two paragraphs, I remind you, happened over the course of last semester and the beginning of this one. While I was going through this, I did not realize that I was causing my own pain by my sin, spurred on by distraction. (Do you see how dangerous distractions from Christ can be? They easily lead to sin when we submit to them.) Keep this in mind as you read the rest of this post.

The Lord convicted me of this distraction--this "something"--after coming off a weekend at my roommate's house, where He had convicted me of control (see first paragraph). He used a portion of Jeremiah 15 to do it. I like this passage of Scripture very much and had read it several times before: Jeremiah 15:10-21.

Jeremiah had a hard ministry, in which, as a prophet, he had hard words to deliver from the Lord to the people of Judah. They were facing God's judgment and wrath for disobedience. Jeremiah pressed on in his ministry, though encouragement was sparse. (How much more shoudl we press on in sharing the Good News of the Gospel!) The events leading up to the passage at hand consist of Jeremiah praying on behalf of the people and God rejecting his prayer. Jeremiah's reaction to God's rejection is complaint, even doubt. He tells God of the good things he's done (vv. 15-17) then asks, "Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will you be to me like a deceitful brook, like waters that fail?" (v. 18). When I read this, I adopted it as my own prayer, thinking the questions he asked expressed exactly how I felt. It was the first time I had caught a glimpse of what Jeremiah's pain might have felt like, though my pain was not synonymous with his.

I read on to read what I saw as the turning point: "Therefore thus says the Lord: 'If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them'" (v. 19).

God turned on the light for me. He gave me understanding--I had strayed from the Lord, not in a salvific sense but as a sheep who ignores--disobeys--his Shepherd. It is because I turned away from the Lord that my pain was "unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed." I had caused my own pain; I had brought it all on myself. To think that I had the audacity to blame God, complain in my heart to Him, and doubt His faithfulness! And what does God say? "If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before Me." Meditate on that for a moment. How beautiful is God that He should lavish such love, mercy, and grace upon us! Do you see how in my state of sin I was black and He is White, I was darkness and He is Light? And He promises me the privilege of standing before Him! His character is overwhelming--indeed, incomprehensible and never adequately described. Do you see how even in convicting me of this sin He is expressing His great love toward me? He awoke me from my dreary slumber. More than that, He delivered me from my deceitful dreams, the working of my own flesh.

Beginning with verse 19, seen above, and continuing through to the end of the chapter (v. 21), God makes promise after promise to Jeremiah. God is faithful. We are unfaithful, yet He loves us, desires us for Himself, is jealous for His praise from us. If any of us are faithful, if any obey Him, it is because He has enabled them to do so through the powerful working of His Spirit.