Christmas Break

Week 3 of my Christmas Break has just begun. I would have to say that I am not as eager to return to school as I was last year. The longer I am down here, the more I want to stay in the country where space and quietness are at their peak. I have finished one of the two books I had set out to complete. My sister came to visit over Christmas, which is definitely a highlight of my break. This past week was rough though. I've cried more than I have in months, mostly during an anxiety attack Christmas morning that left me feeling ill the rest of the day. Family stresses and not registering for an online biology class in time were the other culprits in dampening the holiday season. I am learning I need to adamently claim my rights as a child of God and not let such circumstances get me down.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." Psalm 42:5-6, 11

I have a special treat for my next post. He, he, he. Happy New Year, everyone!

1 Timothy 4:6-16

6 If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. 7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 9 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. 10 For to this end we toil and strive, [2] because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

11 Command and teach these things. 12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. 14 Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. 15 Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. 16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (copied from ESV's website)

I read this passage twice recently, and it encouraged me a great deal in regards to my life group. Though it seems as though my leadership in the group is a small thing, I know that God has given it to me. Verses 12-14 meant a lot to me especially. Being only twenty, I know how it is to not be looked upon as having any wisdom or insight. When Paul says "let no one despise you for your youth," he is saying to let our behaviors exemplify Christ by "[setting] the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity" (v. 12). Even if we aren't supported (not that I am not supported), we can persist in our ministry knowing that God has given it to us and so will enable us.

Spur of the Moment...

I am finishing up my lunch break and thinking about something new--or maybe something old that I've forgotten.

The past couple days I have been stressed to what I think is near my limit. I feel as though I am mentally exhausted. For about a third of the semester, beginning around mid-term, I slacked. Now, I am paying the price of my bad decisions. I have three papers due in my theology class (two of which are book reports), a research paper in my cross-cultural class (for which I am going to turn in the rsearch paper I wrote in English Comp. II to alleviate some anxiety), a paper over a cultural activity for World Literary Types (for which I am going to tweak the cultural activity paper I wrote for my cross-cultural class earlier this semester), and an audio script for my final exam in Writing for Audio and Video. Package all that with my ever-present Greek work--which I forecast to become the ever-present "thorn in my side"--and you have one stressed out university sophomore.

Then this moment came. I was sitting at a desk in the EXCEL Office, where I work, with my head resting on my arms. I was thinking yet again how stressed out I am, and then that something new--or something old forgotten--passed in my mind. Paraphrased, "You're looking at your circumstances too much. You need to look at God, and you'll circumstances will shrink." I gazed upon the beauty and glory of Christ, and, indeed, the looming assignments did shrink to normal size. The stress is here in me right now as I write, however; but I do not feel as though a wire in my mind is going to snap from the pressure anymore.

Afterward, I thought realized something else--something equally profound if not more: I am writing a paper in theology about Knowing God (J.I. Packer) in which I wrote that knowing God is everything--it is the most important thing we can do--and here I am stressing uncontrallably as if there is no God in heaven. He is beautiful and the only One who ultimately matters. It is so easy to distract ourselves with meaningless problems of this world, but if we really know God--if I really know God--why bother distracting ourselves in the first place? He is so infinitely marvelous that how could we ever take our eyes off Him? Our attention off Him? Nothing else is worth more of our time, energy, life... However, the truth is, that as long as we live on this earth, we are going to distract ourselves because we are made of flesh and blood, and we constantly battle our human nature. When you really contemplate it--perhaps it is not so much a hidden understanding but an obvious one we Christians take for granted--without Christ, we'd be worse than dirt. Before Christianity, we don't even want God or His ways. How dare we! God, who is holy and glorious, is the only One who is good (Mark 10:18), and we don't give Him the time of day.

So, I'm sure that after redirecting my thoughts and reprioritizing, I will be much better off.

Thank You, Intro to Cross-Cultural Communication!

Sometimes a class that is easy to take for granted will prove itself worthwhile. Such is the case with my Intro to Cross-Cultural Communication class with Mr. Killebrew. I took it because it is a general education requirement, and it had potential to enrich my interest in world cultures. Indeed it did.

The mid-term assignment was to engage in a cross-cultural activity and write about it. For my cross-cultural activity, I went with my "cross-cultural buddy," Eden, who is from China, to St. Louis Chinese Lutheran Church. I was already interested in Chinese culture, but this experience made me want to go to China and immerse myself in its culture more than ever. Chinese people are beautiful and precious. I appreciate Eden and her willingness to let me tag along with her, her friends, and family for the celebration of the Chinese moon cake festival on Saturday and the church service on Sunday.

While I was working on my mid-term paper I thought of the idea of having Eden teach me Chinese. I postponed my work to send her an email about it. Shortly after, she wrote back saying she'd like to. I was so excited! I want to be able to read and write in Chinese, and God has given me the opportunity through Eden to do them. I believe I will go to China someday, and learning the language could be preparation for my trip.

MBU is offering a Chinese class some time. Because I am taking baby Greek (Elementary Koine I), I do not think it would be wise for me to take the course. If you would like to learn the Chinese language, however, contact Dr. Han, Humanities chair and English professor, for more information.

I am so thankful for the experience and the encouragement to learn more about heritage and cultures from Intro to Cross-Cultural Communication. I think it is Mr. Ray Killebrew's best class. I can honestly say that learning about a particular culture is best done by experiencing the culture yourself.

What Has Happened?!

I have not blogged for over a month! My apologies to my devoted blog fans. I have become busy, but that is no excuse. Has busyness ever stopped me before? No! I have been quite tired many times that I've thought about posting, but that again is no excuse. Have I been tired before before writing? Yes! I pledge this day that neither tiredness nor busyness shall hinder me from my grand, privileged duty to serve my beloved audience and to make my opnions and experiences known!

Anyway, now that I've got 100 percent lameness out of me, allow me to attempt to fill you in on what's happened since September 1st and fail.

...

Well, it seems much has happened. Next week is mid-term--man, has the time flown by! School is school; I don't have much to say about it except that I am taking baby Greek, a class I've wanted to take since about my junior year of high school.

...

Yeah, academics definitely isn't at the top of my priority list anymore. I like the new freedom I have from feeling "enslaved" by my studies. It is an answer to a prayer. Hmm, what are some more important things?...

My Relationship with God

I'll be late for class almost anytime on account of Chapel. (This semester, it is World Literary Types I'd be late for. Sorry, Dr. Han!) I count any spiritual thing that could happen in Chapel more important than school, so if I have the opportunity to continue praising God after students are dismissed, I will most likely take it. Another example of my relationship with God being more important than academics is that I give my religion classes priority over my other classes.

My Relationship with John

Yep, I esteem John over academics. That's a no-brainer, right? Usually, if you find John, you will find me.


My Relationships with Other People

I have come to learn that people are very important. In fact, they are most important after God. People are interesting, diverse, enjoyable, sometimes captivating, and loved by God. They should be loved by people too. ;)

Sleep

Yes, unfortunately, sleep sometimes takes priority over academics. Most of time, it takes it accidentally.

...

What has happened over the past month? I continue to grow in Christ and grow closer to John. Both of these actions have manifested themselves in different ways. John adds more and more pictures to our photo album on Facebook as evidence.


This is so bad. The only thing I can think of in particular is my birthday. The Wednesday before my birthday on September 22, John surprised me with a trip to the Laumeier Sculpture Park, a picnic at the park with food from The Perk, and a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, my favorite novel. My favorite part of the park was the Nature Walk. Though it was a hot day, it was still beautiful, and I thoroughly enjoyed the time we got to spend together. On my birthday, my parents took me to the Olive Garden in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, where my sister surprised me with a visit. I also received my gifts there. After eating, we all went shopping. It was inside Target that I listened to a voicemail from John in which he, Katie (my roommate), Clayton, and maybe others sung "Happy Birthday" to me. I loved it. The last segment of my birthday occurred Sunday evening when I arrived at my dorm room. Katie told me "happy birthday" when I entered and had balloons tied to the end of my bed and a chocolate cake and a card sitting on my bed. Mmm! The cake was delicious, and the card was cute! Katie is a wonderful roommate, by the way.

...

Well, that is my terrible attempt to recapitulate what has happened in the past month. I may throw in more details in future posts.

A Summary (or perhaps, A Conclusion of "Change")

I am two weeks into the fall-'07 semester and could not feel further from myself. Never have I gone through several changes at once like I have this August. Somewhere in the midst of these changes I have lost my familiar self.

My sister, as you probably know, moved to Indiana August 9. That was an emotional time for me and many others. I am experiencing life without my sister for the first time in a long while. I am adjusting.

The first day of classes here at MBU was August 20. Coming to terms with the reality of summer break at its close is a big enough switch... but it gets bigger. I worked with my new boss for the first time August 20 as well. She's pretty cool. I knew her as a friend, through my sister, before she became my boss. We are getting along great!

Since the 20th, I have lived in the North Hall dorms on campus. My roommate, Katie, is awesome, and we have much in common. My suitemates are from the Bahamas. That's pretty cool. The food in the cafeteria is surprisingly tasty. (Don't pay attention to the negative reports that commonly go out about MBU's cafe food.) I get my wanted and needed walks in from walking to and from the main part of campus almost every day. I usually enjoy the walks because Dink Marler's pretty, especially with *NICE* weather. Also from living on campus, my social life has increased, making it difficult to leave the cafe at suppertime to work on homework or clean. I enjoy my circle of friends.

The most drastic affect of moving to the dorms (hence the separate paragraph) is the increase of quality time I have with a particular gentleman--I am sure if you are one of my on-campus readers you know who it is. News of our relationship status is spreading like wildfire, so my reserve in mentioning it via my blog has declined. This major change possesses so many sub-changes and details that I could write a post devoted wholly to it.

The last major change is in church service. My previous posts called "Change," parts 1-3, explain the events surrounding this one.

The past few weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster, full of good and painful experiences. Throughout most of it, I feel as though I am, to some extent, going through the motions of living. I do not recognize myself inside. I have lost some confidence; I am a little unsure. I truly believe that this semester will bring more new things--good things. I am not going to be the same, maybe never again.

I hope the MBU students, new and returning, are having a great semester so far! Keep it up! I remember you in my prayers to God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Change, Part 3

The situation, like I said in "Change, Part 2," is not all bad. Saturday night was the first example.

Example #2:
James 1:2-4 says, "[2]Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3]because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. [4]Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (NIV).

Example #3:
Moving to the dorms is exciting because I will meet my roommate, decorate/arrange a room again, and only have about a ten-minute walk to the main part of campus.

Example #4:
My dad and I may have a much better relationship when this season is over.

Example #5:
The rest of my family and my friends are supportive and caring.

Example #6:
This situation has got me thinking about changing my focus from only serving with my church family to serving in all of life with my life intentionally.

See, it's not all bad. I am not drowning; my head is still well above water. I am the sort of person who writes through the trials. It is how I release, I guess you could say. Yes, it is personal, but that is why it is perfect to blog about. If I just wrote about it and kept it to myself, no one could benefit from it except myself. By posting it on this blog, YOU can read it, identify with it, and know you're not alone. I am not quite as audacious as you might think. When I write for this blog, I do not consider what my audience is going to think--or perhaps more accurately, I have nothing to hide only words to write. I figure since I write honestly, why not post it? When you read my posts, I guess you see my heart.

A Devotional

I received this devotional from Prime Time With God via email and found it helpful:

Reflecting His Glory
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman

They will tell of the glory of Your kingdom and speak of Your might, so that all men may know of Your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of Your kingdom. - Psalm 145:11-12

How do you measure your effectiveness in God, or should you even be thinking like this? The early Church turned the world upside down in that first century. What made them so effective? Was it their theology? Was it great preaching? Was it due to one man's influence apart from Jesus?

The Scriptures are clear as to what made the early Church effective. It is at the core of God's heart, and it is quite simple. God desires to reflect His nature and power through every individual. When this happens, the world is automatically changed because those who reflect His glory affect the world.

We serve a jealous God. He is a God who will not share His glory with anyone. God sets up situations in order to demonstrate His power through them. He has done this since the day He created man. His desire is to reflect His glory through you and me, so that all men may know of His mighty acts and the glorious splendor of His Kingdom (emphasis added).

The apostle Paul understood this principle: "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Cor. 2:4-5).

If you do not see His glory being reflected through your life, then you need to ask why. He has promised to do so if we will walk in obedience to His commands (emphasis added).

Change, Part 2

My response to my dad's command would have been different if he had spoken from a selfless motive. However, his reasons for my quitting the team revolved around himself. He did not express that he was speaking on behalf of my well-being, and he did not inquire about how much I enjoyed sound or how important it was to me. He was not concerned with Meadow Heights losing a tech team member, thinking someone else could simply replace me. His motives did not communicate value just as not listening or trying to change my personality.

Maybe I am taking the whole thing too personally because I just painted a pretty bad picture of him. There you have it though. To me, a loving Christian parent would think of what is best for his child in this situation and would want his child to serve in church. I think he does have good intentions, but I misinterpret them because of his doctrinal differences with the church. Hmm... I'm not sure.

I knew I was not being patient with him Friday night, and I remembered that the upcoming message was "Love is Patient." Perfect! Believe me, it was perfect. I listened to the message about three times. (We have five gatherings a weekend.) I listenend and prayed about becoming slow to anger. I was in such a good mood on the way home Saturday night. I meditated on the sermon notes/Scriptures and put what I had learned into practice once I arrived home. My interaction with Dad has not been the same since; it has been far better.

However, the pain is still here.

I have not shared every detail. I have left some out on purpose. Details that intensify the situation but would shed bad light are more advantageous to exclude.

Part 3 of "Change" will tell you the high moments--yes, this is not without pleasant details. It is not all bad.

Change, Part 1

I have a very sober post to write.

Tonight I was talking on the phone with my sister as well as writing on Facebook when a strong gust of wind beat against my bedroom window. The meteorologist from KSDK News Channel 5 said the wind was a gust front caused by the storm behind it. Gusts reached 62 mph in St. Charles. It is believed that some building damage occurred along I-70 and Highway 40. It hailed in O'Fallon, and trees fell, causing powerlines to also go down. Right now, I am sitting on my bed listening to the thunderstorm--the perfect mood for this post.

With the stage set, allow me to get to the heart of the matter. Many changes have happened, are happening, and will happen in my life. Both internal and external circumstances characterize these changes. My sister and best friend, Rachel, moved to Indiana last Thursday. She will start seminary Tuesday. Friends of mine have also already left MBU. Currently, I am in the process of moving to the dorms. I will check-in and officially move in Welcome Weekend (this weekend, August 17). I will meet my roommate, go to my first dorm meeting, and I will begin my first class of the fall semester the following Monday. Also the following Monday, I will begin working with a new boss. Undergoing these changes isn't easy. I am trying to take it one day at a time and trust God for everything to work out okay, for strength, for the ability to adjust, for a positive attitude... for the future.

On top of this, I just experienced a severely trying and emotional weekend. Its effects will most likely linger into the weekends ahead. One of my parents is giving me worse trouble than usual, specifically regarding my service in church. I have been training for three months to run sound with an awesome girl named Krys. I very much enjoy running sound. I think it is the closest I have gotten to serving in a ministry area that fits/uses my S.H.A.P.E. (spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experiences). I have learned so much since I started and was able this weekend to mix successfully almost by myself.

I quit the team.

My dad commanded that I not serve on Saturdays anymore. He has said such things before, but this time he said it as a command and with authority. This time I was worn down past the point of fighting back. This time, I listened.

Whoa.

It is not every day I don't go down without a fight. I want the constant battle on the weekends to stop so badly. I am tired of going rounds with him. Amidst all the changes, I only felt able to obey. I felt as though I had nothing else left in me. I would love to enjoy my dad and for him to enjoy me, but that is not the way it is.

After I wrote that I quit the team, I stared at the sentence for a little while. It was hard for me to continue typing after that. Did I really quit the team? Something I've discovered I am passionate about doing, something I've trained for and was becoming good at, and something in which I truly felt like I was contributing to the Kingdom and to the mission of Meadow Heights Church has ceased.

I will discuss my dad's motive, the turn-around Saturday night, and evens that followed my quitting, Lord willing, sometime soon. It is still thundering....

Desiring God Coverage of the Bridge Disaster

On the Don't Waste Your Life Facebook group, the Director of Resource Strategies from Desiring God posted a link to their compilation of video from the disaster scene set to one of John Piper's sermons. It is around six minutes long. You should check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wG0dhA_RT8

You can also find it on the Don't Waste Your Life web site. Actually, I encourage you to check out the web site anyway. It's great.

Even More

This is overwhelming! I like Hillsong, and they're Australian! If you're not familiar with Hillsong, just listen to the second and/or eighth song on my playlist at the bottom of the page.

More Australian Evidence

My sister pointed out to me another way in which I am Australian. I not only like Keith Urban, use Aussie shampoo and conditioner, and eat Wallaby yogurt, but I also like the new GTO's that were originally built from an Australian platform.

The Final "Squirrel Saga" Post?

Tragic news. PETA is going to be all over this.

I have not said much about the squirrels in a while because I think my dad finally won. I've said this before, but this time I am very confident. After he moved the hummingbird feeder, he has not had any trouble with them--even the smart one.

However, it looks as though my dad may not have triumphed on his own. It seems a certain neighbor of ours, Bill, is also having a squirrel problem. (It's like an epidemic!) The little creatures have not only been getting plump from birdseed--if that's possible--but they have been dipping into Bill's corn as well. His garden is a vast feeding ground for them.

To solve his problem and, by the transitive property, solve our problem and to prevent them from spoiling all his cantaloupe along with corn, he began to shoot in their direction. He was only trying to scare them off. It did not work, so he hung up some dead squirrels. Unfortunately, they are too tame. He then shot them, one by one. He only has about six more to go, I believe, out of the original twenty--no lie.

This is tragic because though the squirrels are pesty little animals, I have grown attached to their being around or at least the amusement they bring. They are cute and furry and smart--sort of. If they were truly smart they would have ran and not returned after the first one was shot. Anyway, I feel compassion for them, but it is too late for any intervention from me.

How sad that Man vs. Squirrel must end on such a bittersweet note!... at least for now. "It's not over 'til it's over," Yogi says. Six of them are still alive. Can they pull themselves together for a comeback? We can only wait and see.

PC--Never Mind--Faith

My dad bought a used computer from a man who lives near Manchester (St. Louis, MO). It is a 2002 Dell Optiplex GX240. I have been setting it up for my parents after Dad and I plugged everything up and got all the parts situated.

Oh! Sudden change of writing plans...

My dad was just talking about my mom's possible test of faith. My parents and my sister returned from Jeffersonville, IN, yesterday. They were moving Rachel's furniture to her new apartment. My sister's going to seminary, but that's a whole other blog.

Before they left on Monday, my mom's foot was hurting severely. (If you are unfamiliar with my mom's foot problems, check out my past posts labeled "Prayer Requests and Praise Reports." Her foot is healing now, praise the Lord.) She went on the trip anyway, and has not had any severe pain, to my knowledge, since that morning. My dad and I think that it may have been a test of faith from God for my mom. She still went, even though she was in pain. It was like a step of faith. It is also possible that the devil may have been rearing his head. She very much wanted to go on the trip, for she had not seen the apartment or the seminary campus before the trip.

I promise that was way better than what I originally was going to write about.

Everything from the Word "Hiatus" to Greek

Apologies upon apologies to all my fans (just kidding) for seemingly abandoning the blogosphere. Some definite blog-worthy happenings have transpired, but because they are so much in the past, I cannot recall them.

From what I can salvage, allow me to fill you in on what you have missed.

• I am pretty convinced by now that I am Australian at heart. By reflection I have come up with these three facts to back up my claim: (1) I use Australian shampoo, Aussie; (2) I eat Australian-style yogurt, Wallaby (Jeremy, if you should happen to run across this post, know that it is organic.); and (3) I like Keith Urban, who is Australian.
• I recently delved into a friend's New Testament Greek textbook. I have had it since school let out, but I had only opened the book sparingly before last week. I am on the exercises portion of Unit 2. I enjoy learning Greek. To me, it is an exciting language to learn. The whole Greek culture fascinates me. The main cause of my interest, however, is in my desire to get to the raw text of the Bible. To read New Testament Scripture in Its original language would be like embracing Truth in a hug--enveloping It in order to comprehend Its worth and understand Its exact meanings (not the "big picture" meaning but meanings of individual points). I know that I cannot possibly do either of these things, but that is the measure of significance I place on proficiently knowing New Testament Greek. It seems as though it would open a whole new, for lack of a better word, facet of the Bible to me...
• June 23rd my cousin married at Stonegate Glass Chapel just north of Branson, MO. My sister and I headed down to Harrison, AR, (where he lives) the Thursday before. We viewed his brother's house and met his brother's roommate, ate my aunt's DELICIOUS food, and enjoyed making comparisons of my aunt and uncle to our parents--at least I did. Besides the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception, we did not have anything on our agenda before we went down there. It was truly a vacation. Before the rehearsal dinner I chilled in the living room for a few hours doing absolutely nothing but observing my surroundings and napping a bit. After the rehearsal dinner, my uncle took us all (my aunt, my aunt's sister and niece, and us) to Branson Landing. That place is NICE. The street lamps change colors, the walkway is brick, music plays outside constantly, and the Landing has good stores. It's right by the lake too. I very much appreciated my famly throughout the vacation. I think much of the time I take them for granted, but not that time. They are a great group of people! Oh, by the way, the wedding and all its appending activities were very enjoyable as well.

Writing of vacations, I am currently on hiatus from work for some R&R in the country. I took off with the aims of soaking up amazing scenery, wide open spaces, and birds' songs instead of endless buildings, small spaces, and traffic noise; and--this is my primary aim--of digging into the Word and reading my current books in peace and quiet with focused attention. I have done hardly any of the two and hope to achieve better tomorrow.

Sweet Treat

I'm in church again down in All Stars. Something great happened last Wednesday. Rachel and I had become accustomed to dessert the weekend before while we were in Harrison, AR, and, therefore, were craving something sweet. We went to Applebee's for a chocolate meltdown (yum!).

Not long after we were digging into our scrumptious, devilish delight, without my knowing, a man--who heretofore shall be dubbed Charlie--tapped on the window (the one separating Drury Inn from the restaurant) and asked Rachel if our food was good. At the time I was looking down at my food (one track mind) and didn't notice anything was going on until I looked up at Rachel, who was gazing over to her left with a grin on her face. She said, "That man is talking to me." In a quandry, I slowly peered over to my right with an apprehensive expression, and when my eyes landed on Charlie, I immediately, in conjunction with my sister, busted up into laughter. Charlie came around to our table and asked, "So am I going to get a bite of that?" We were both thinking, "Sure, go ahead." He laughed and said, "I'm going to pay for your dessert." "No need for that," I replied.

When we finished our dessert, we gave the waitress our payment with the ticket and figured, Well, I guess Charlie isn't coming by. A couple minutes later, the waitress returned with the ten I had given her and said, "That man over there said he'd pay for your dessert." Well, okay! Before we left, we thanked him. He said he figured since he had joked around with us that he'd pay the ticket. How nice of him! God used him to be a financial blessing in both of our lives, so praise God.

Man vs. Squirrel Update... Again

I'm in church right now with some downtime. During the service, All Stars registration agents don't have much to do; most of our work is before and after the services, making sure all the kids are counted for attendance and secure. MH has definitely stepped up to the plate in the safety department, and our new kiosk system has been working great!

Anyway, the purpose of this post has been a long-time coming. A couple weeks ago, I guess, more developments ensued over the pesty squirrels in the backyard. Since they've pretty much given up on the birdfeeder, they have decided to go for the hummingbird feeders. My dad caught one of them in the act of hanging upside-down on the feeder by the tree. Ah, geez! Those varments are definitely determined and smart! In efforts to prevent such a thing from happening again, my dad relocated the hummingbird feeder to hang right in front of our sliding glass doors. My mom, however, liked one of our other birdfeeders there better, so with protest my dad moved the hummingbird feeder to the clothes line with its sister feeder. Maybe now my parents can have some peace. While the hummingbird feeder was hanging by the sliding glass doors, the squirrels kept trying to jump from the steps' railing to the feeder or from the doors' partition, causing a racket against the glass.

Our neighbor has a rather large garden that he claims squirrels keep getting into. He says he's going to start shooting, which should help my dad pull off a victory in Man vs. Squirrel; however, these squirrels sure have been entertaining, and I'll miss them if they become extinct in the area! (Now my true feelings about them come out.)

Sean > Rush

Today's radio show sealed the deal. Sean Hannity is amazing. I officially prefer him over Rush Limbaugh. Though Rush cracks me up sometimes and is very confident, Sean treats his callers very well, supports the soldiers 100%, and has more class. The show today, the anniversary date of D-Day, featured the recording of President Roosevelt's prayer. Sean's 89-year-old veteran friend was on the air for a while as well. It was very moving. Such radio shows make a person look outside his usual perspective of the United States. We Americans truly are blessed to live in such a country, even when it seems divided by politics. Sean Hannity is where it's happening. Case closed.

"How Marvelous, How [Incredible]!"

I was just thinking about how incredible Passion07 was and how incredible it was that I was a part of it. I am listening to Charlie Hall on the Passion06 CD (Everything Glorious), which sparked my thinking. Imagine with me: 25,000 students gathered together in the name of Jesus to bring glory to the Father and enjoy Him, standing unified with Christ by Christ for the same cause, the same purpose--all together, in one place--the presence of God unmistakable. I do not have to imagine. I only have to remember. That is incredible.

New Developments in the Case Man vs. Squirrel

I thought the squirrel guard put an end to it, but I was wrong. Last weekend, I learned that the squirrels had chewed off part of the funnel's rim, and one of the furry creatures was basking in the sun on the perch of the birdfeeder, according to a first-hand, eye-witness account. My dad resolved to not give up but to "go to the mattresses." He put a shield of some sort over portions of the funnel. (Note that this action is perfectly legal as it was done in self-defense.) I cannot recall the material of this shield, but for now, his efforts have succeeded. The suspect, however, remains unapprehended. This was [supposedly] derived from an old police report:

WANTED

Current alias: Squirrely "The Unstoppable" Varment
Age: Unknown
Height: 7"
Weight: 1.5 lbs.
Description: "Squirrels are generally clever and persistent animals. In residential neighborhoods they are notorious for eating out of bird feeders, digging in potted plants either to bury or recover seeds, and for setting up house in sheltered areas including attics. While many companies sell bird feeders which are supposedly 'squirrel-proof,' very few of them really are" (Wikipedia).

Original photo derived from Digital Photography: http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5qgyt1NG1hEBfkCjzbkF/SIG=12c7iqmps/EXP=1179977906/**http%3A//www.photozo.com/album/showphoto.php%3Fphoto=65859

FRIGID... Part 2

I must follow up on my my last post. I went to class yesterday, and the AC was NOT running in Room 310! I did not take my sock cap, so it's a good thing it was taking a break. Talk about basking in the "WARMTH"* of the room--while still in my hoodie, mind you. I thought to myself as I was basking, My blog post must have done some good; maybe I should blog about stuff like that more often! My idea was crushed when the air came blasting out of the duct toward the end of class.

NOTE: "Toward the end of class" does not indicate 3:25 p.m., the scheduled dismissal time, but rather the point at which we students began our course evaluations--around 1:30. NOTE AGAIN: It is with pleasure I wrote the previous sentence. I am NOT complaining.

*Did you notice how funny warmth looks in ALL CAPS? Did you also notice the word was in quotation marks? It was not WARM in the room; it was CHILLY, a considerable upgrade from FRIGID.

It's time to get serious...

FRIGID.

Today is approaching mid-May, without the rain it'd be around 83 degrees outside, and I'm sitting in the Records Office here at MBU in a hoodie. Does that make sense? Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining about the AC in the basement of the Field building--I know what it is like to work without it--so just keep reading.

I started taking my hoodie with me to school for my three-week May-term Business Writing class. It's in Field 310, the corner room, and without a hoodie, it is FRIGID. The air blows from the vent straight down to my head. Now don't imagine a line drive of cold air; this blast is more like a radioactive bomb--it has a radius, not just one endpoint. Therefore, I cannot simply move to a nearby seat to avoid it. If I move to the back or across the room, I might escape, but then I would alienate myself from my prof and six peers. I opt for a hoodie and, starting today, a sock cap. That's right. I'm not messing around anymore--a sock cap means business.

It's so cold in Business Writing, I have to "shoo away the penguins" (Ray Romano, Everybody Loves Raymond).

Recent Developments in Man vs. Squirrel

My dad may have finally defeated the squirrel(s). No, it was not the PVC pipe--though it may have worked if it was not removed for a more sophisticated tool. My mom kindly ordered a squirrel guard with which my dad is, so far, very pleased. It favors an upside-down funnel with a lip circumferencing (if that is a word) the bottom. When the squirrel tries to grab this lip in efforts to go above the guard and to the bird feeder, the lip collapses under the little creature's weight, and the creature falls to the ground. It has worked so far. After two or three attempts, the squirrel suddenly became content with feeding on the ground, at least for now. Recent developments may have unfolded without my knowledge. Unless I am informed of something different, think SUCCESS! The epic war may have finally ended with my father's victory at the Battle of Squirrel Guard!

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Down but Not without Hope

To my surprise, my last post was coherent.

I don't know what to say, but I am hoping to let out some of my mixture of emotions (or lack thereof) by writing. It is hard for me to accurately describe what is going on inside me, and it has been like this for a couple days. I feel as though I am troubled, but with what am I troubled? I am not at rest. I am uncomfortable, but I don't know why. Most likely, I need to renew my mind with the transforming power of God's Word. I need to spend some one-on-one time with Jesus. I usually get like this when I slack in this one-on-one time.

Then again, a part of me feels almost numb. I went to bed fine--more accurately, happy--on Saturday night and woke up Sunday morning with no passion, no zeal, no zest, no vigor... and it hasn't come back yet.

I was inspired by Job this evening. Job worshiped God for the good and the bad times and recognized God's sovereignty. He lost his kids to a storm and was able to see the situation with this perspective. "...The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21). It would be good for me to "stop and consider the wondrous works of God" (Job 37:14).

It would be great to take a vacation from myself for a while, so I think I might just do what the previous Scripture says.

A Waste of Space (And Time)

Right now, I am putting one of my best tactics into practice--procrastinaiton. I just lost most of my motivation to work on my homework (time-consuming homework at that) and am seriously considering shutting down my computer and participating in the conversation around me. I'm sitting by the fireplace in the campus coffehouse, The Perk--I recommend this place by the way; it's nice.

Anyway, the art of procrastination is easily learned but not easily forgotten. It does indeed become a habit that mostly likely won't break automatically when college is over. It will, I predict, carry on into my work life, if I don't bear down.

Now about this homework. I'm taking a May-term class that lasts three weeks--that's four days a week for a scheduled three and a half hours a day. Note, however, that I have yet to remain in class for the scheduled amount of time. This class is not too intense but could become so if I put off my latest assignment until last minute. This sucker, I promisse you, is time-consuming!

Yet, here I am, still typing out this blog post and not doing my homework. I know you can relate. Procrastination plagues just about every college student. Why do we procrastinate? Why? What psychological processes go on to make us official procrastinators?

I'm just throwing this question out there. I'm sure the art of procrastination cannot be boiled down to just a few (or several) steps of psychological processes, but my current state of A.D.D.-like behavior is hindering me from intellectually brainstorming for better ideas. I hope all this is coherent; I am not sure.

Request for Help with 1 Corinthians 9:16-18

I recently read 1 Corinthians 9:16-18:

"Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. What then is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make use of my rights in preaching it."

Is Paul saying that his reward is to offer the Gospel free of charge? If so, how is it his reward? Paul did say earlier in the chapter that he would rather die than not have his boast of not using his rights, making it clear that "[offering the Gospel] free of charge" is of value to him (qualifying it as a reward, maybe?). What are his "rights in preaching it"? Material support from the Corinthians? I'd appreciate some help with this if you have anything to offer or if you need to correct me.

Speaking of Squirrels...

On further thought, it seems that squirrels have taunted not just my family and the Crowders but others as well. It's like an epidemic! I remember a friend called Drew having a terrifying encounter with a squirrel on his campus. Also, my boss knows someone who has had squirrel issues. The list goes on and on! Maybe squirrels really are evil...

Sorry, Audience.

No easy way to say this exists, so I am just going to say it bluntly: My promised picture of the bird feeder contraption (See "Amusing Events" and the end of "Ol' Sup" posts.) will never come. I am sure you're reaching for a tissue right now in pure agony. Believe me when I say, I am sorry.

This is what happened. I kept forgetting to take the picture, and then my dad decided to try some friends' advice to use a PVC pipe. In the process, he removed the contraption. The PVC pipe he had handy is not large enough in diameter, so it only hindered the squirrel(s) temporarily. He is wanting to buy a larger one. I will try to keep you posted (no pun intended).

Check This Out

This is great. I was watching some DC*B videos on YouTube the other night (when I should have been sleeping) and ran across this one. Today, I thought I'd catch up on Crowder's blog and saw that he had just posted the same video May 1 on his blog! Hilarity. I'll give you the link to his blog: http://www.xanga.com/emprise34. Once you're on YouTube, look to the left of the video to the related videos pane and click on the "Foreverandever Etc." animated music video. It's pretty good. The follow-up video to "Evil Squirrel by David Crowder" is also in the related videos pane. I believe there is also a part three in the series, but I have not watched it yet. Anyway, enjoy!

From the Seed Springs Forth the Flower

This is not actually a poem. It does not even qualify as blank verse. It is, however, my expression of the condition of my soul on February 13.

O little flower, you sprung up so quickly.
O little seed, what outward beauty you have produced!
But inside your stem is rubble.
Inside your petals is deadening deceit.
For through your outward beauty you deceive many,
And few know the depravity of your soul.

O little flower! O little seed!
May death take you over if no Soil comes to save.
Where is your Rescuer? Where shall He,
Whose savor is sweet, come from?
Be sure that if the seed desires, He will be found
And the flower will live.

For His sweet savor will take root in the seed
And flourish in the flower.

God is Faithful.

Last week was very rough for me. It was probably the most difficult week I have had in college, and the roughness is not even school related.

A friend of mine, a person I know better than anyone else on campus besides my roommates, moved away. I knew that he was planning to transfer for two or three months prior to his actual leaving, but the departure and resulting absence have been harder to deal with than I ever anticipated.

Before he left, I gave him a small gift--small in size and possibly (but hopefully not) in significance but not small in the time and money spent--that included a three-page letter. In this letter I attempted to share some "last" words of encouragement and instruction in the faith (for I had been discipling him throughout this school year) and convey my thoughts on and feelings toward him. I wanted him to know that at least one person on this college campus cared enough for him to diligently pursue him in Christian fellowship and take the initiative in matters regarding him, such as keeping up with his business, and that one person is me.

He did not perceive himself as being skilled in making friends or as being well-liked by most. I think, and I could be wrong, he thought he was, in a sense, invisible--a topic on which I will elaborate further in a future post. He was never invisible to me. I am not trying to sound arrogant when I say that I took the time, went out of my way, and quite frankly did things for him that I currently would NEVER do for ANYONE else. God laid him on my heart early in the fall '06 semester, and I have carried a deep burden for his spiritual growth. I do not view myself as being as servant-hearted as people like my sister (who is amazing), but I truly enjoy serving him. I can just sit around content thinking of ways to serve him.

You can probably understand now why his departure from this campus and this city is so painful for me. I made random trips to the restroom throughout Wednesday to release my emotions and left work early. I kept telling my sister that I needed a vacation, that I needed out of St. Louis for a while. I wanted to go home to the country--a nice change of scenery and a scenery I love. Over time I am sure that I will adjust to his absence and think less of him (as extended absences always cause), but last week I felt as though a part inside me was dying, and I prayed for God's strength and His enabling me to focus my thoughts on other things and eventually get over this. Since that prayer in the women's restroom of the Field building, God has shown me His care and faithfulness in helping me think of other things and giving me His strength to continue every day without the destructive apathy I had developed last week. Praise God, and glory in the highest!

Please Pray for MH

As my long-time readers know, sometimes I ask for prayer in my blog. It's that time again. This prayer request, however, is not for an individual's health problem as my requests usually are. My home church, Meadow Heights Baptist Church, is under either spiritual attack or is in preparation for what is to come. Whichever, we have been since the beginning of this year. God has been doing amazing things among and through us, and we believe He has much more in store in the coming months. Perhaps partially because of this we have been enduring severe health crises churchwide.

Please pray for the physical health and spiritual endurance of MH as a whole.

These crises are bazaar. For example, early this year, my pastor had to have surgery on his vocal chord because of an hemorrhaging polyp. He could not talk for a while and had to undergo voice therapy. Members of the leadership staff stood in the pulpit each week on a rotating basis, and I think our church grew closer together and to God throughout it all.

Another example: A family took their four-year-old daughter to the hospital to treat her broken leg, and in the process of treatment, someone discovered she had an autoimmune disease called Takayasu Arteritis that attacks her blood vessels. She has already experienced Stage 1, so some damage to her aorta has already occurred. Prednisone and Methotrexate were prescribed for treatment. (My mom has had to take these medications for rheumatoid arthritis, so we know the effects they can have. Having to take them at such a young age, before full development, is sad.) She is also taking blood pressure medicine.

The young child's family says she is the youngest person her doctors have seen with this disease and are praising God for her broken leg. The family has had an amazing attitude throughout all this, trusting God and knowing that His hand is on the girl's life. They said in an email that they have given her to Him and are "continuing in His strength and for His glory." I truly admire them and are thankful for people like them in the Church.

One last example: Our youth coordinator/worship leader was diagnosed with walking pneumonia a few weeks ago. He was feeling better before last Friday night, when he woke up with severe pains. He was transported to Parkland Hospital in Farmington, MO, and was put into isolation. His many visitors had to suit up and wear masks before seeing him. For a while, the doctors did not know what was wrong with him, but I was informed today that his colon had ruptured from a bubble behind his chestbone. The burst released gas into his body cavity, and he became infected. As far as I know, he is so supposed to stay in the hospital untl at least tomorrow.

These examples and many deaths/life-threating illnesses (like a man's wife suddenly collapsed and died at a gas station and a boy was paralyzed from the chest down from a serious auto accident) have afflicted MH, and I ask for you prayers in regards to strength, endurance, perseverance in believing, patience, comfort, and God's healing. Most importantly, I ask that you pray that God would be glorified throughout all this.

Thank you so much!

Insight from Jonathan Edwards

Last Saturday, something pivotal in my life took place... and it hurt.

I was hurrying to the sofa at the apartment, and I somehow managed to strike my toe on a random staple under the sofa. How in the heck?!

Yes, it was pivotal. Hee, hee...

Every moment in time is pivotal based on the laws of action and reaction. I have a quote for you from Jonathan Edwards that I found on the Facebook wall of the group Dead Theologians Society:

"Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can."

Ol' Sup

Last October, my roommates and I went to Thei's Farm where one can buy pumpkins from a pumpkin patch as well as goods from a little shop and explore hay mazes and a cornfield maze. One can also take a guided tour through the pumpkin patch, fields, and orchards.

Anyway, about that pumpkin... my roommate spotted a beauty, and it was the winner. I named it Sup after former Cardinals pitcher Jeff Suppan. I bought the pumpkin for my dad and I to carve as we sometimes do around Halloween time. I go home about every weekend for church and to see my parents, and every weekend did not seem like the right time to carve the pumpkin. My dad and I kept procrastinating. Soon Thanksgiving came and went. (If you view my Thanskgiving photo album on Facebook, you can see a picture or two with the pumpkin in the foreground.) Then Christmas came and went--I think by this time I was urging my dad to get cracking on the pumpkin--and the New Year along with Passion07 came and went. Valentine's Day... Martin Luther King Day... St. Patrick's Day... Easter. Over the weekend, my mom, sister, and aunt forced me to put the infested pumpkin outside by the garbage can. I did so reluctantly. For one thing, I did not want to touch it. I will admit, ol' Sup is pretty nasty.

My dad said he was going to cut it open to see the inside. I really hope he does. My mom and sister would rather Sup take a ride off the roof.

By the way, that picture of the bird feeder is still in the works.

Amusing Events

I love my parents. Recent amusing events have plagued them. Let me elaborate...

Amusing Event #1
My parents had just parked in front of the Hallmark store in Farmington, MO. Since my dad wanted to help my arthritic mom out of the car, and my mom had a second set of keys for the car, my dad decided to leave the keys in the ignition. My mom didn't want to take her big boat of a purse into the store, so she left it in the car and locked the doors, naturally so no one would steal it. They then went on with their shopping. When my parents returned to the car, my dad wanted my mom's set of keys to unlock the car, and she, of course, did not have them because they were in her big boat of a purse, which was, of course, in the car. My parents had to call a locksmith and pay $35 to have the car unlocked.

Amusing Event #2
Some time ago, my dad went to Lowe's to return a defective Shop-Vac. The Lowe's employee gave him a Lowe's card worth $85 to use to buy a new Shop-Vac. My dad didn't know he was supposed to use the card to make the exchange, so he left the store with the $85 card--thinking it wasn't worth anything (i.e., a dead card)--and a new Shop-Vac. My mom recently persuaded him to have the card checked, and lo and behold, he found out that $85 was on the card. He knew it wasn't right to use the $85 (nor legal), but the woman servicing him insisted that he use the "free" money because, after all, it was Lowe's mistake. They should not have given him the card. My parents now have a new $100 Moen faucet in their kitchen.

Amusing Event #3
My dad was having some car trouble recently, so he was driving his '90 Chevy truck to work while the car was out of commission. While working on his car, he decided to leave the battery going to listen to music. After a snag or sure (I cannot remember how many), the project wound up taking a little longer than anticipated. As most of you know, if you leave a car battery pulling juice for too long, the car will not have enough battery power left to start. Needless to say, when my dad tried to start the car, it was 100 percent dead. He thought to himself, "It's okay. I'll just use the truck." When he turned the key in the ignition the truck wouldn't fire either! "What is going on around here?!" he wondered. He told my mom the situation, and my mom asked if he had left his lights on. My dad is very careful about things like that and thought the idea ridiculous but went ahead and checked it out. Sure enough, he had left his headlights on all day!... Hilarity.

Amusing Event #4
I've saved the best for last. My dad has been in a war against some squirrels in our backyard for a very long time. They like to climb the pole to the bird feeder and eat the bird seed. My dad has tried a funnel, a piece of wood I think, a strip of plastic, a strip of plastic with sides, and maybe even oiling up the pole. No matter what my dad has tried, the squirrel(s) end up on top (no pun intended). Recently, my dad has had to make revisions on his strip of plastic with sides and has formed it into a plastic box of sorts. For a week the squirrel was stumped (yes, the other squirrel gave up a while ago, so there is only one still fighting), then it finally happened. I was in the kitchen as my dad was walking into the dining room looking out the sliding glass doors. Suddenly he gasped. I looked out the window and saw the varment atop the plastic box, eating to his mischievous delight. For probably a good ten minutes, my dad, sister, and I stared outside the sliding glass doors, trying to figure out the seemingly genius animal's strategy. We laughed at the thought that my dad was being outsmarted by a squirrel. Make no doubt about it, we have seen these squirrels in action and know that they do actually think things through and study different angles--at least when it comes to getting on a bird feeder. For some added humor, know that the birds are particularly attracted to the squirrels' food when my dad puts it out on the ground. I will try to provide a picture of the bird feeder with its ridiculous contraption soon.

In case I do not write for a while, God bless your celebration of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection!

The Power of the Spirit When Given Opportunity to Move in Corporate Worship

What was amazing? Chapel! I know the last time I blogged about Chapel I said it was the best, but seriously this time, this was THE best.

Going into Chapel I was carrying some emotional, mental, and spiritual baggage that were hindering my worship to God. Preoccupations seemed to rule me, especially my mind. When praising God I really wasn't praising Him at all because I was not even focused on Him. God was working with my will during the service, and after students were dismissed, I stayed fixed on the bleacher and prayed to God. I finally broke during my prayer when a girl came down from the bleachers above me and wrapped her arm around me. I began to cry and let it all go--I unloaded my baggage and gave it all to Him.

I was finally able to wholeheartedly praise God! I was so filled with and surrounded by the Holy Spirit that I was shaking and single-minded. My attention and affection was on God, and the experience was incredible! Worshipping in Spirit and in Truth is how God wants us to worship Him, and that was what I was doing.

My time of worshipping privately before God staring at the wooden cross erected in the gym and in community with that girl who was so filled with the Spirit was like the Passion conference in that I got a glimpse of heaven.

I cannot express to the full the measure of joy I experienced in my relationship with God. I was very happy, very fulfilled, and very thankful to my God... Never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit when it is released like it was in Chapel 3/22/07 when chains were broken.

Thank you to whoever God pressed on to give us students the opportunity to participate in this kind of Chapel. From everyone I talked to I can say that we very much want more of this and desperately need more of this.

Wow...

Something AMAZING happened today. I cannot wait to tell you about it!

I'll fill you in on the incredible day when I gain time to go further down on my priority list to the blog slot... Don't worry; it's not too far down.

Spring Break Thus Far

I've already talked about visiting my high school, so let me skip ahead to my trip to Louisville. I left yesterday morning and returned this evening. Quick trip, huh? My sister needed to take care of some business at SBTS, and we had to return promptly. My dad went with us, which was good besides some unnecessary--better put, unwanted--comments on the way back. The commute to and from, as with our trip last year, had its hilarious signs, including the following:

• "Don't Get Plowed" (IL)
• River names (IL & IN) like Little Wabash, Beaver Creek Pond, Little Crooked Creek, etc.
• "Entering Hoosier National Forest" and "Leaving Hoosier National Forest" (IN)
• Town/area names like Sulphur, English, Santa Claus (home of Holiday World amusement park), Birdseye, etc.
• My personal favorite: "No Stopping, Standing, or Parking" along I-64 (IN)

A noticeable difference between this year's and last year's was the gross smells of sour feed and other things through Illinois and Indiana.

SBTS was as great as ever. Rachel and I sat in on the class Personal Spiritual Disciplines, in which the class had read Donald S. Whitney's Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life. Awesome! I've already read that book in Discipleship and Evangelism, so I could easily get into the discussion. At the beginning of the class period, the prof had us form a group of two to three (or in our case five) and pray for each other, asking that God would make us blameless and holy. We got to meet three nice gentlemen Brad, Phil, and David as a result.

My dad joined us for Chapel. The chapel building at SBTS is beautiful! My eyes were closed for more time than they were open but not because the service was boring. I had stayed up a little late the night before watching Escape from Alcatraz on AMC with Rachel and Dad.

I also nodded off a few times during our lunch with the admissions rep. Oops...

I cannot tell you enough how beautiful Southern Seminary's campus is! All the buildings match, some of the sidewalks are brick walkways, the place is well-maintained, and it is mostly secluded. Combine these attributes wtih the amazing people and the incredible faculty there, and you have one awesome seminary.

Oh, one more thing: The seminary's students are mostly guys. In the class I sat in, I think there were four girls including Rachel and me. In Chapel, the singing congregation had a strong low tone. That part of seminary was particularly enjoyable. :)

Note the Time I Posted

I just realized that beginning with my post "I Wore a Visitor's Tag" the time of which I post will be one hour behind because of the new Daylight Savings Time schedule.

I Wore a Visitor's Tag

Today was the first official day of Spring Break. I had a doctor's appointment for the stye/cyst/whatever on my eye, and then I visited some former teachers at my high school. I also volunteered to help out an MBU admissions rep. who visited the high school today. A couple students were interested, and that was cool because it is always exciting when a person is interested in enrolling at MBU, I actually knew the names of these two prospective students since they are from my high school, and I am currently the only person from my hometown who is going to MBU--FHS graduates are definitely welcome! Also, I know of another person from my hometown who is interested but did not come talk to the student ambassador and myself.

Two seniors and one junior from FHS interested in MBU? Hooray! It's a nice boost for me since possibly five people I know affiliated with MBU (mostly staff) will not be returning next fall. I was kind of down because of that for a while. Though some close friends may leave, could new ones come to fill their shoes? I hope so.

Our Many Dimensions

My sister, Rachel, and I have come to realize that we are variety. This past week is a prime example. Wednesday night, we went to the Charlie Hall concert at school (MBU). Thursday night, we ate stove-roasted marshmallows and walked to the fitness center vending machine in our slippers/flip flops and loungewear to buy some chocolate. After returning to our apartment, we watched Cinderella and ate the chocolate. Last night, we went to Powell Symphony Hall in our sophisticated attire and listened to the Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra.

If a stranger observed us Thursday night, and a different stranger observed us Friday night, these two strangers would have two very different accounts of what we were like. Do we even make sense? We have many dimensions.

Our trip to the fitness center for some chocolate proved to us that we are indeed addicted. We blame it on the Passion07 conference. It was there in Atlanta where we rediscovered our love for the Snickers bar, and ever since then we have settled for anything close to it--anything chocolate. We crave it. We'll make evening journeys across the apartment complex lot in slippers/flips flops, athletic pants/P.J.'s, and hoodies. We are addicted, and we are the same girls who will enjoy a violin concerto, a Christian rock concert, and Cinderella.

We are not unique in the fact that our interests vary, but this is simply a recent analysis of ourselves that we have made.

Correction Box

I must recant the statement I made in my post "Oh, Yeah" in which I said that Sean Hannity is my hero. With the aid of a friend, I have come to realize that my failure to explain myself may have caused some confusion, and people may have actually taken me seriously.

I did not intend for you to take the statement literally. Sometimes conservative talk radio hosts like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh can flat out tell it like it is, or how it should be, and I get a little excited. In the heat of the moment, I may embellish my emotions a bit. Though in this case I did post such a thing a while after I thought it.

Sean Hannity is not my hero. Neither is Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly or any other conservative voice, so I hope when you read that Sean Hannity is my hero you picked up on my randomness. Christ is supreme.

A Perk of Going to MBU (And I'm Not Talking About Coffee)

You know what's great about going to a Christian university like MBU that has an awesome Chapel auditorium? You get awesome worship leaders like Charlie Hall to come put on a concert. Charlie Hall, you may have heard of him from the Passion conferences, is coming to MBU during his Falling Into Daybreak tour tomorrow night (technically tonight) at 7 p.m. I'm so excited! If you want to go but do not have tickets, you can still get tickets from the MBU Box Office (314-392-2345) for $5. If you're not able to go, I'll let you know how it went, or I could just tell you right now: It was great; God moved. To Him be the glory!

Oh, Yeah

Sean Hannity is my hero.

Praise for Mom

As you may have read in previous posts, my mom has been enduring a foot wound since September 30, 2005. She had her third surgery last week, and we are really encouraged. What makes this surgery different from the other two? First, the surgeon "cleaned out" her foot completely. Second, she is using a vac in her foot that is sucking up all the fluid and moisture (as opposed to her foot draining and soaking her bandages which can hinder healing and lead to infection).

Mom has absolutely no infection in her foot now--not staph, not strep... nothing! We consider this surgery a blessing from God and an answer to everyone's prayers.

She is recovering nicely. She uses a knee walker to get around. It is like a regular walker except it has a cushion for her to rest her knee on, so she is not walking at all on her foot.

My mom is up-beat and looking forward to being able to walk on both feet again. Thank you all again for your faithful prayers. You guys have helped us so much by letting us know you're praying and checking up on her progress from time to time. You guys are awesome and great examples of prayer warriors!

Something New!

"Don't panic. Seriously don't panic."

I've tinkered with my page layout, and I'm sure some of you are having convulsions now, but please don't panic. I'm just testing it out and seeing how I like the new look. Be aware that you may see various major or minor alterations to the page's design in the upcoming weeks.

What do you think? Are you feelin' it?

Like I said, it's tentative.

A Word from the Fool

For all you future students out there, let me offer you some wisdom that will come in handy in your college years and maybe even your career.

When you have a calm week with abnormal downtime, take advantage of it, and I don't mean have a leisurely week. Bust your butt like it was any weekly grind of exams and deadlines. I have learned my lesson this week. Trust me, if you don't take advantage of your season of calmness, you'll want to kick yourself later.

Last night I slept for approximately three hours and forty-five minutes. The nights before, I averaged four and a half to five and a half hours of sleep. I am so worn! Why? I've been pushing myself to get A LOAD of schoolwork done on time and do well on a couple tests this week. Last week was the same way but not at the same scale.

Three weeks ago I could have "got ahead" on some of this work and didn't. Instead, I hung out with friends, watched music videos on YouTube with my sister, spent too much time on the Internet, etc.

Note that most people who know me know that I am a classic night owl. Last semester, I stayed up late almost all the time. You would think I'd be used to weeks like these, but on the contrary, my body has become less tolerant this semester. Plus, it seems like there's a big difference between going to bed at three and going to bed at one or two. A psychological difference maybe? All I know is that I can't handle doing homework all hours of the night anymore. Though my addiction to staying up late isn't broken, it has been at least temporarily injured. Seize the day, my friends.

Take it from me, you upcoming scholars, work first and play later. You'll be less stressful, much happier, and much more alert later. (I was so tired yesterday that I couldn't open my eyes all the way without them hurting and, thus, had slits most of the day; my eyes have gone blurry while trying to do algebra at around twelve or one o'clock in the morning; my limbs have felt really fatigued in New Testament history--an awesome class in which I was also falling asleep; I've been getting my words backwards when talking; I've gotten swimmy headed; I'm 100-percent delirious; etc.) The benefits of taking the wise action of nipping homework and studying in the bud surpasses those of some instantaneous pleasure of leisure time tremendously.

"All Who Gather Here by Grace Draw Near..."

This past Chapel may have been the best one all year ('06-'07 year, that is). Campus Pastor Jonathan White spoke about suffering. If that wasn't enough, the Chapel Praise Band sung/played "The Wonderful Cross"--not once but twice. The second time was after Jonathan's message, and let's just say I left the Chapel auditorium a mess, tears streaked down my face and my nose running. God was doing something in my heart during that service. I went to the women's restroom and prayed a very personal prayer to God. God is working through Pastor Jonathan, the Chapel Praise Band, and everyone behind the scenes--I konw at least in the depths of my heart and soul. Praise God, the One who formed the mountains and seas and formed this heart in me! He is Most Excellent and worthy of praise!

"When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the Prince of Glory died. My richest gain I count but loss and pour contempt on all my pride. [Chorus:] O, the Wonderful Cross! O, the Wonderful Cross bids me come and die to find that I may truly live. O, the Wonderful Cross! O, the Wonderful Cross! All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name. [End Chorus] See from His head, His hands, His feet sorrow and love flow mingled down. Did e'er such love and sorrow meet? or thorns compose so rich a crown? [Chorus] Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all." Lyrics from "The Wonderful Cross"

My Version of Romans 7:15-17

I am kind of blue today. I am discontent, frustrated, and impatient. When I am like this, it usually means that I need to get back into the Word and/or into a ceaseless fellowship with God. What I mean is I need to live out the day with a continual conversation with God going on in my head. My pastor likes to use the simile that it is like having a headset on with one ear tuned into what is going on around us and the other ear tuned into God. I need to listen and expect, acknowledge, and obey God's (Holy Spirit's) promptings.

Now that I have strayed from my original topic, allow me to indulge in one more pressing facet of my life right now: I am struggling with a personal sin, which may or may not be the cause of my inner toil, that has been weighing on me heavily in light of my class Discipleship and Evanglism (D&E) and the baptisms in church. God is using D&E to change me, and He is using my church family to deal with a paritcular sin: my pride (to put it generally). I will not give you the many details of how my struggle has come about--for if I did I fear it would greatly prolong the length of this web page--but let me just say that deep down I know the answer, the solution to my problem, but my shallow exterior (my flesh, my sinful nature) is in denial and is fighting with vigor to maintian its pride. This may sound crazy, but I needed to confess this and let this out.

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Romans 7:14-25 (copied from http://www.bible.com)

Passion07: Days 3-1 (In a Nutshell)

Okay, so I intended to post one entry per day of Passion, but I didn't. Let me give you just a few highlights:

Day 3: All 24- or 25,000 of us gathered outside in downtown Atlanta at around 11:00 p.m. in silence. We were instructed to say NOTHING. The folks at Passion surprised us just like they said they would. After everyone was gathered with his candle, we lit our candles, and music started. Imagine a huge crowd of college students assembled in one place lifting up the name of Jesus for all of Atlanta to hear! It was incredible, and needless to say, God's presence was unmistakable. After the late show was over, Atlanta kindly block off the streets for us to return to our hotels as quickly and safely as possible. I thought of Martin Luther King, Jr., and his supporters marching for freedom when we were all filling the roads and sidewalks, singing and shouting and waving at those who honked their horns in agreement. Wow! What a night!

Day 2: This day went much smoother than Day 1 because we had a better idea of what we were doing and where we were going. It was the first day of the breakout sessions. I chose to go to David Crowder's Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die session (named from his book). It was great as I expected. We had a brief "hoedown" in which we sung "I Saw the Light" and a verse or two from "I'll Fly Away." The rest of time, Crowder and the band talked about the book--sort of. Crowder gave his story of what led up to the writing of the book, which had me at the least grinning most of the time. At the end, he answered questions from the audience. This breakout session may have been the final seal on the David Crowder*Band making my No. 1 list. Also, just to mention, Francis Chan spoke on Day 2, and it was amazing! God definitely anointed him to speak to us.

Day 1: I've saved this day for last because it holds the best highlight regardng me. I went to Passion with pride. I was stale, spiritually cold. I had let pride creep up from the depths of my naturally deprave heart without my even realizing it. I did, however, detect something was wrong either the first night or the morning of Day 2. Great things were happening around me, and I was numb. I couldn't feel anything! I wasn't moved by God's presence in the Philips Arena, I was distracted during prayer, and my attitude toward Passion as a whole was corrupt. What is wrong with me? This should feel like heaven. God revealed to me that I was proud and needed to humble myself. Then He continued to help me work it out, and I'm not sure when (definitely by Day 4), but eventually Passion did seem like a glimpse of heaven, and it has sparked a change in my life.

God is using my class Discipleship and Evangelism: Leading in Spiritual Formation to grow this spark into a flame for sanctification (the process of changing from a deprave sinner to a person like Christ). He has to continually humble me, and His preferred way of doing so right now seems to be via this class.

This has been the 2007 Passion conference in a nutshell. Plenty of personal experiences and amazing large group experiences I have left out, but simply too much to tell exists.

Passion07: Day 3.25

Thursday beheld a bitter-sweet morning for everyone at Passion. We opened with community groups (communities of ~1,000 students which is further divided into groups of ~eight) like we had Tuesday and Wednesday. Since it was the last time for groups, my orange #4 small group gave me their contact information, and we talked about how incredible the night before had been. (I'll elaborate in the next post.) We concluded our study of Colossians 1-3--well, technically Chapters 1-2--in which Paul is explaining to the Church at Colossae the supremacy of Christ in all things and how they had the fullness of Christ in them. We are complete in Christ; all we need is Him. (The song is true.)

In the main session, my sister finally received what she had been waiting for: Chris Tomlin. She confessed to me the night before that she may be "in love" with him. (Not really.) Make no mistake that she understands that who is leading worship is not what's important in worship, but can you blame her for being excited? I was elated when David Crowder*Band led worship Wednesday night (which will be in the next post). Anyway, so God's presence was definitely all over the place. It is so amazing to praise God with ~24,999 other people my age!

Louie Giglio had Francis Chan pray over the students who signed up to pray about whether God wanted them to serve at the Freedom Center in Iraq for a year. He also had anyone else who felt called to a life of missions to stand up too. I wasn't listening close enough, thought he meant any type of mission work, and stood up. People laid hands on those who stood around them. Later on, Giglio gave us the BIG numbers that us at Passion contributed to Do Something Now. The one that blew me away and brought tears to my eyes twice was OneVerse by The Seed Company. Students could buy a verse from the New Testament for $20 and sign their names by their verses on a wall. It costs ~$150,000 for the entire N.T. Passion's goal was that we would translate the book of Matthew for the Dela people in Indonesia. We passed that up pretty quickly and wound of translating the whole N.T. for the Dela people. Going even farther, we translated the whole N.T. for the Rikou people in Indonesia as well. Nope, I'm done yet. We kept going and picked up the Lole group and then were able to finish the N.T. for three other groups who were already in the process of getting the N.T. translated.

If you know me, you know that I'm about people having the Bible in their own language (mother tongue). I get so emotional when I hear about what we were able to do for these people in Indonesia.

Another part of Do Something Now that touched me was the opportunity to mail a Bible to East Asia. I was given the name of the person who would receive the Bible I sent on a bookmark, so I could pray for him throughout the year. That's exciting! The contribution becomes so much more personal when I know the name of the person God is blessing. I pray that God would make this man's heart receptive the Word he will be receiving and that He will immerse himself in Christ so much so that he can't help but SHINE. I pray that he will grow and build.

Giglio also announced that the four-day Passion conferences will not continue next year. Passion will, rather, host smaller events across the country in cities like Chicago, L.A., Dallas-Fort Worth, etc. Also, Passion will be gearing up for a World Tour in which they will have free events outside the U.S. Churches, groups, and organizations can go on a mission trip at the same time of Passion and go to Passion while on the trip. (That was an idea Giglio threw out there.) It's going to be really expensive. We raised $256,000 at the main session. Please pray for the Passion Team and all those who help them, and feel free to help them out and GIVE if God lays it on your heart to do so. I know you'll be blessed for doing so!

You know, I think I'll sign off here, meaning I will save details of the expedition back (or should I say "Caravan" back?) for the next post, and anything I said will be in the next post will go in the post following the next post. (Are you officially confused?) Until then, take care, and God bless you!

"Yes, LORD, walking in the way of Your Truth, we wait eagerly for You, for Your Name and Your Renown are the Desire of our souls." Isaiah 26:8

Passion07

Okay, so I went to Passion07 January 1-4 in Atlanta, and it was incredible! There is so much I could say about it that I am going to take it one day at a time, starting with the last day and moving backward in time--which saves the best part for last! :)

Stay tuned!

Colossians 1:28