God is Faithful.

Last week was very rough for me. It was probably the most difficult week I have had in college, and the roughness is not even school related.

A friend of mine, a person I know better than anyone else on campus besides my roommates, moved away. I knew that he was planning to transfer for two or three months prior to his actual leaving, but the departure and resulting absence have been harder to deal with than I ever anticipated.

Before he left, I gave him a small gift--small in size and possibly (but hopefully not) in significance but not small in the time and money spent--that included a three-page letter. In this letter I attempted to share some "last" words of encouragement and instruction in the faith (for I had been discipling him throughout this school year) and convey my thoughts on and feelings toward him. I wanted him to know that at least one person on this college campus cared enough for him to diligently pursue him in Christian fellowship and take the initiative in matters regarding him, such as keeping up with his business, and that one person is me.

He did not perceive himself as being skilled in making friends or as being well-liked by most. I think, and I could be wrong, he thought he was, in a sense, invisible--a topic on which I will elaborate further in a future post. He was never invisible to me. I am not trying to sound arrogant when I say that I took the time, went out of my way, and quite frankly did things for him that I currently would NEVER do for ANYONE else. God laid him on my heart early in the fall '06 semester, and I have carried a deep burden for his spiritual growth. I do not view myself as being as servant-hearted as people like my sister (who is amazing), but I truly enjoy serving him. I can just sit around content thinking of ways to serve him.

You can probably understand now why his departure from this campus and this city is so painful for me. I made random trips to the restroom throughout Wednesday to release my emotions and left work early. I kept telling my sister that I needed a vacation, that I needed out of St. Louis for a while. I wanted to go home to the country--a nice change of scenery and a scenery I love. Over time I am sure that I will adjust to his absence and think less of him (as extended absences always cause), but last week I felt as though a part inside me was dying, and I prayed for God's strength and His enabling me to focus my thoughts on other things and eventually get over this. Since that prayer in the women's restroom of the Field building, God has shown me His care and faithfulness in helping me think of other things and giving me His strength to continue every day without the destructive apathy I had developed last week. Praise God, and glory in the highest!