"Take Every Thought Captive to Christ," Part 1

I've had something on my mind lately. In the midst of finals, church, Christmas break, Christmas, and upcoming Passion07, I have been consumed by thoughts of... I can't even write it. I'm not ready for it, but I desire it. It occupied my mind severely last year, but God helped put it in perspective. Now it's back. It's like an addiction eating away at me or something.

I was reading Chapter 2 of Chasing Daylight by Erwin Raphael McManus today when I read that when God transforms a person's desires, they become godly desires. Could this desire I wish to bury be a godly desire? If it was, why do I have it now? I'm not in a position in which my thirst would be quenched (not that I know of anyway).

Sometimes I think that my desire is not being met because God wants me to give it to Him and focus all my energy on Him--and then maybe He will meet the desire. Psalm 37:4 comes in play again: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." McManus explains it very well. I recommend your reading it. It could be broken down like a scientific chain:

Love God. --> Delight in Him. --> God transforms your desires. --> He gives you the desires of your heart because they are holy--they are His desires.

So this is the question: Is my desire--that consuming something--a godly desire? It is such a struggle when I try to take my thoughts captive to Christ. The struggle is in the mind. I need to change my focus to Him. He is my happiness, my life, right? Why not think on Him all the time anyway? Why do I keep holding on to something that doesn't even measure up? One word: Flesh.