"Foolish Games"

I heard this song last Wednesday. I hadn't heard it in a long while. It was in my head this morning and throughout the day.... Sometimes when I struggle to process pain, music and tears seem to be the only way I can let it out.... It was a hard day today, a hard week.... The lyrics don't fully apply, but some do--some do very well. It's mostly the mood of the song and the emotion the music evokes that resonate.

But I won't stay here. I refuse to stay here. I must look to Jesus. My mourning will turn into dancing when I turn to Him. My emotions will follow. I can always lean on His everlasting arms.

Thinking: A Poem

Thinking, thinking

Droning, droning

On and on the wheel spins

The cog races in its circuit

When will the end be?

When quiet is the victor

And laughter turns its face to fools

Dream on; it will come

Questions, questions

Complaints, complaints

Through and through rotten all

The squirrel finds empty acorns

What will the end be?

What ceaseless brightness pervades

And Love outshines the twinkling stars

Dream on; it will come

Raging, raging

Hiding, hiding

By and by a war brews

The blackout beckons confusion

How will the end be?

How the death does breathe its last

And smoke desists for purity

Dream on; it will come

Impressions

[These next two posts are poems I wrote some time ago. The first I wrote last summer, and the second last January.]

Impressions

Friendly, open, attractive

Looks like that punk

Initial impressions

Impressions

Bold, honest, different

Sits where he wants

Curious impressions

Impressions

Attentive, real, kind

Swarms with mad skill

Charming impressions

Impressions

Distant, quiet, busy

Thinks not of it

Confused impressions

Impressions

Blind, tired, settled

Says no good thing

Sinking impressions

I am sinking

Words

I watched the movie The Help tonight with family. It reminded me of the power of words. Since I learned to write, I've written. I did not have a cause at first; I just wrote to express my thoughts and feelings. I enjoyed it. In middle school, I wanted to not only express myself but also express meaning. In high school, I used the school newspaper to gain a voice. I also learned to write differently for different genres. Then in college, the meaning I wished to convey became a message. Somewhere between middle school and high school graduation, God made me alive in Jesus Christ (Eph. 2:4-9), as if I awoke from sleep (Eph. 5:14). Sometimes I share the message here. And sometimes it touches lives.

Tonight I experienced the power of words to hurt. Some decisions are very tough. Though my initial response was self-pity and a little anger, I knew that that was no way to go about it. Even now, God redeems the circumstances. I turn back to Him. He wastes nothing. His gospel, the one that is the power unto salvation (Rom. 1:16), is powerful still to sustain me. I do not have to respond in self-pity and anger anymore because Christ broke the bondage of sin. I can choose to respond in faith and courage by the power of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5 says to understand what the will of the Lord is. Well, I do know this: God wants me to trust Him to give me the wisdom for each decision and the words to say in tough conversations. It's gonna be okay. I am sure that I will witness once again, as always, God's grace prevail.

I am only the instrument. The gospel is the music with the lyrics for life.