Tribute to Dad

This week I have stood (or sat) in awe of my dad. He is resilient. He endures an increasingly heavy load and keeps going with an overall good attitude. What has been adding to his load lately is the uncanny trial of car problems, one that began in January.

Shortly after Rachel left for overseas, the head gasket in Dad's Corsica blew up. God providentially had Rachel's car sitting in the drive for him to use. Since she was not due back for six months, Dad in the meantime searched for used cars and engines but never discovered a winner. He was slightly sidetracked when spring arrived. Both lawn mowers needed work.

Fast-forward to Rachel's return. He found on the Internet a blue Corsica for sale in Sedalia, MO, with 104,000 miles. It needed some new parts before it could run, which the dealership covered, so purchasing the car was pushed back a week.

During this time, Rachel and I rear-ended a truck in St. Louis. Though we weren't moving fast, the car incurred an estimated $1700 in passenger-side and front-end damage. We could still drive it at least, though I had to crawl out the driver's side of the car. (I begged Rachel to let me crawl out the passenger-side window like a NASCAR driver but to no avail.)

The following Friday, Dad and Ronnie installed a new compressor into the truck. Saturday, Dad and Rachel drove four and a half hours to Sedalia and bought the car. About 100 miles into the return leg, the belt broke on the Corsica. They had to leave the car overnight somewhere off Highway 50. With a new belt and several tools, they headed west again Sunday morning. Come to find out, two bolts in the compressor were stripped out, which caused everything to shift, leading to the belt's break and a hole in the radiator. Dad and Rachel drove for about 16 1/2 hours that weekend, and my dad had to go to a blazing hot factory the next day.

The same day, Mom and I bought groceries at Wal-Mart. Immediately after parking the Beretta in front of the house, the brakes went out. Dad replaced a portion of the brake line as quickly as he could and bled the brakes. We see God's care, as in other instances of His wisdom and providence, and are thankful that the brakes didn't quit while on the road. Dad said he felt led not to take Rachel's car that morning to go fix the Corsica.

Last week, I think, the fuel pump on the truck went out on my dad's way home from work. We then had four vehicles in the drive and only one running--Rachel's Beretta with one functioning door. Gerald replaced the fuel pump the next day while my dad worked. Meanwhile, my mom was having to go to the hospital often, so we borrowed my grandma's car on several occasions.

This week, Dad replaced the EGR valve in the Corsica, so it can now run, though it still lacks a good radiator. The most recent problems now is the truck's overheating and the Beretta's brakes' refusal to pump up completely.

My dad's been going and going from sunup to past sundown in the heat. He said himself one night, "You can't keep a good man down, especially a man of God." Thanks for being an example of perseverance, Dad.

On Reserve Battery

This evening Dad, Rachel, Jerry, and I were outside as my dad replaced a portion of the brake line in Rachel’s Beretta and began bleeding the air out of the lines. As I observed his twisting socket wrenches and his tenacious removal of the left front, I was able once again to relish in a thunderstorm’s approach. I listened to the low rolls of thunder and eventually felt the cool downdraft blow from the west, carrying with it the scent of refreshing rain. As I type now, it is here upon us and threatens to snuff our electricity.

I am thankful for the handymen and mechanics in my family. My dad and uncles, Ronnie, Larry, and Gerald, have put in many hours working on cars. Their auto repair ingenuity has saved us from many a burdensome cost. I will recount the recent events leading up to my current reflection soon, when I can charge my laptop without threat.

Links Between The Fellowship of the Ring and the Gospel

As promised, with the exception of when, I will here share some of the parallels I found while watching The Fellowship of the Ring. Given Tolkien's religious background, the symbolism was no doubt intentional, though inconsistent. I think these links are what helped me sit through the three hours--my movie muscle is weak but received much exercise through this trilogy. The other two movies carried my intrigue, and Tolkien's brilliance remained, so that I found the entire story exceptional. So, here we go. Three observations:

1. The betrayal--It was revealed to Frodo that he would face betrayal from a member of the Fellowship and that the Fellowship would divide--scatter, if you will. Jesus knew beforehand Judas Iscariot would betray him as well (John 6:70-71; 13:21).

2. Solitude--Frodo withdrew to a quiet place, as leaders do. He was burdened and needed time alone. Jesus withdrew many times from the Jews or from the crowds, sometimes to pray. It was in one of these times of isolation that Frodo was betrayed. He once again faced man's desire for the ring.

3. The growth in power and physical spread of evil--The darkness portrayed in The Fellowship of the Ring panged my heart. It struck me deeper than I had anticipated. As the power of the ring grew, hope dissipated. The distinction between good and evil are not always easily discerned in the characters either. This mirrors reality well. Imagine the Fall, and what it must have been like for depravity to enter the world and human nature. All was affected, even creation, just like in this movie.

More redemptive and christological parallels exist in this movie and in the series as a whole. I can't help but seek them out while watching. I've become a sucker for such fantasy. The Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker impacted my understanding of sin and redemption, and now The Lord of the Rings has done the same.

Love the Brotherhood. Watch Yourself and the Teaching.

The Together for the Gospel conference this past April is a highlight of this year. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to go, for the experience itself, and for my brothers and sisters from FBC with whom I experienced it. Three of us were able to attend T4G Late Nite, in which Mahaney, Dever, Duncan, and Mohler gave us ten-minute nuggets of wisdom, and the T4G staff gave us flash drives with the nuggets and extra sermons. I listened to one of these sermons today.

I took my last walk around the subdivision. I'll leave, Lord willing, with my parents tomorrow morning to pick up my sister from the airport and head on down to Fredericktown. As I enjoyed the birds I listened to C.J. Mahaney's "Grace and the Adventure of Leadership" that he preached at a PDI conference. It was just the sermon I needed to hear from what I can tell. In going to my hometown church, I hope and pray that I love them. I have struggled for a few years to harbor a right attitude and seek unity in light of their need for some adjustment in their handling of the gospel. Mahaney's sermon was a very good slap in the face--just what I was praying for! Not really. When I had prayed and asked for prayer about loving my home church through actions and words, I did not expect that God would prepare me by convicting me. I was blind to my sin and thus my need for conviction.

Though it may seem virtuous that I toil over my home church so and desire for their reform, in reality I myself am in need of reform. My criticisms and dread are evidence of my pride and self-righteousness, as mentioned in the sermon. I realize now that part of the reason I become critical and sometimes hostile is fear that I will get "sucked in." This fear is a lack of trust in God, who promises to keep us and is able to guard us. My heart attitude and consequent behavior is not the example for watching yourself and the teaching (1 Timothy 4:16).

So how do we guard ourselves and the gospel and sound doctrine? When faced with people who are under grace but who we think are in particular need of adjustment (my situation) or when faced with false teaching or a distortion of the gospel, how should we respond? For starters, I think it's good to locate our concern: Are we concerned with the preservation of the gospel, or are we concerned that we ourselves and our faith are being threatened? The answer to this question reveals your motivation and will dictate your action. For me, it is both, which makes things a little messy.

Mahaney presents a course of action that is helpful here in answering these questions. Think upon the evidences of grace in the people's lives. As a side note, while I was walking, and Mahaney was addressing pride in criticism with a Peanuts illustration, a car went by and hindered my hearing. I backed up the sermon on my iPod to hear what I missed, and when I played it again, a large trash truck then obstructed my hearing. I tried a third time, and the truck moved my direction and turned onto the street I was walking down--once again, obstructing my hearing of Mahaney's words. By this time, I was annoyed. Then I noticed the word that was painted on the side of the truck as it went on: Grace. I had to laugh. Grace has not much resonated in my heart toward my brothers in and sisters in my home church. Nor have I thought upon God's grace toward me as often as I should.

When we consider evidences of God's grace in difficult people rather than focus on their hang-ups--no matter how trivial or crucial the hang-ups are--we are much more apt to thank God for them, like Paul was thankful for the Corinthian church.

I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge— even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you— so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:4-9)

As Mahaney points out, Paul's thankfulness for the Corinthian church, who had many problems of sin at the time, does not make sense initially. My first reaction to my home church is not thankfulness. Paul, however, had maintained a God-centered thanksgiving by acknowledging the grace God showed them in Christ Jesus, knowing that God had fully equipped them with spiritual gifts, and trusting God's sustenance for them. Imagine what the Corinthians must have felt in hearing these words. Feeling the weight of sin and guilt and hearing that Christ will sustain them and, more than that, present them blameless before God the Father! You see, Paul motivated by grace. He did not beat them down with criticism and condemnation. No. He reminded them of who they were. He built them up. Lastly, in his God-centered thanksgiving, he recounts God's faithfulness. He reminds them that God called them into the fellowship of Jesus Christ. Their first reception of grace, their continuance in the gospel, and their victorious finish are all credited to God in Christ Jesus. Paul so trusts the Lord that he can thank Him for the Corinthians in their evidences of grace, confident that they will make it to the end, no matter the needs of adjustment they have. (We see here that Paul had a long-term view. He saw the big picture, not just the immediate circumstances.)

Let this not be an excuse for ignorance, however. Sin must be addressed and accountability carried out. What I do mean to say is that we can guard ourselves and the teaching and respond to difficult people in accordance with the gospel, without pride, self-righteousness, or fear, by motivating by grace. We can remember God's grace toward us and be humbled. We can then remember God's grace toward them and be motivated to encourage them in that grace, thus motivating them to do the same. Inherent in this is the desire to please the Lord. No longer do they rebel but submit, turning the tides on sin and bringing glory to the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.

My home church is no longer a threat but an opportunity to extend grace. And praise be to God for His forgiveness and immeasurable grace!

Sin, Grace, Jude, and James

For a while, maybe a week, I could feel my heart turning toward my former manner of life, in which I was supposedly in charge and definitely devoid of the Spirit of Christ and belief in the gospel. During this time, discipline--especially spiritual disciplines like Bible intake and prayer--was waning and my indulgence in idleness and entertainment growing. I tried to make myself pray in the evenings and meditate on God's majesty with thanksgiving on my walks in the mornings, but I sensed that my heart was not fully in them, that my affections were not wholly stirred, and I soon gave up--or you could say, gave in. I did not do what I knew I ought to do, which is sin (James 4:17).

Once sin begins, if not interrupted by the grace of Jesus Christ, it will snowball. Today was the culmination. I neglected the Word, rushed prayer, struggled to keep even my personal discipline of walking a mile, and found myself sinning in ways I haven't in a long while (mainly grumbling and complaining). The worst of it, though, was lack of desire to change. I stepped outside the house to go on my walk, shut the screen door, and thought, "I don't care."

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:12-15)

I listened to about half of a sermon by C.J. Mahaney on Jude ("Contend," part two of two in Jude series) while I walked. Shortly before finishing the mile I realized that Mahaney's words directly pertained to me. One of his points was from v. 21 ("keep yourselves in the love of God..."). The sub-points that followed answered the question, how? From the text, he answers (1) build up yourselves in faith (e.g., preach the gospel to yourself every day), (2) pray in the Holy Spirit, and (3) wait for the Lord's mercy. Okay, so how am I doing with these? Epic fail.

Remorse began for all the sins I mentioned above, beginning with remorse for grumbling and complaining. While I showered, I asked the Lord to give me a right heart and a new song (literally, a new song to sing and worship in the shower) and forgiveness and recounted the gospel with thankfulness. I sang the hymn the Lord gave me. My heart was then turning toward the way I should go--submission to Christ. Now, before I go to sleep, the desire to please my Lord is in me and even affection.

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. (James 1:16-18)

I write all that as a foundation for this: This afternoon I shared this experience with a brother and sister in the Lord as we discussed man's desire for autonomy, the nature of sin, and the use of Scripture in resisting temptation and putting off sin/putting on Christ. We discussed the sin snowball effect. Then, tonight as I was preparing for bed, I listened to the back half of the sermon, and Jude and Mahaney confirmed what we were saying: "If I'm not praying, then it reveals for me, at least, the presence of pride and self-sufficiency," and again,

If you neglect this imperative, to keep yourselves in the love of God,... it will have a subtle but gradual and inevitable effect on your soul. Yes, it will. And eventually what is subtle will become obvious because if you neglect this passage [Jude 20-22] and the application of this passage, you neglect this passage to the detriment of your soul. And eventually you will reap. I know because I have neglected this passage at times and then experience the dullness in my soul, diminished affections for the Savior, diminished desire to read His Word. I know what it's like. I look in my soul and say, "You're not as affectionate and passionate as you once were."... If your heart is dull or hard, you arrive there by a daily neglect of this verse... You can keep yourself in the love of God by doing, by the grace of God, what you should have been doing all along--preaching the gospel to yourself, praying, and waiting... Gradually, over a period of time, you will know a restored affection for the Savior.

Thank you, Lord, for your Word and your Word preached and that you keep us (Jude 1, 21, 24).

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. (James 1:19-21)

The Fellowship of the Ring

Last night I watched The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time with Andy and Angela. Fantasy is not typically my cup of tea, but Ted Dekker's The Circle Trilogy set me on the path to developing an admiration for the art. It truly has got to be the most difficult genre in which to write. A simple fantastical plot can easily grow into a complex web of details, which I would imagine would create great potential for loose ends. The television show Lost helped me realize that brilliance is prerequisite. J.R.R. Tolkien may be the most brilliant of them all.

I think the key to good fantasy, in my limited exposure, is achieving balance between real elements and fantastical elements. What I mean is that it is possible to err on the side of too many real elements and create a similar world that is unbelievable. On the other hand, it is possible to give fantastical attributes to too many elements in the story (characters, natural laws, culture, etc.) and overwhelm the audience's senses or cause confusion. Tolkien seems to strike a good balance. He creates a world (Middle Earth) and successfully works out the webbed details to make his story "believable." Dimensions of human nature, Earth's properties, and moral laws remain intact while at the same time he creates a new language, cultures, creatures (e.g., the orks), and modes of power (e.g., the ring and the transfer of power). Any loose ends are few and minor.

The movie sucked me in from the beginning. I like the hobbits, Gandalf, the beautiful horses and scenery, the music, the storyline (duh), and, best of all, the similarities to the gospel, which I'll discuss in my next post. People have raved about The Lord of the Rings, but I never gave it much attention. I figured it was fantasy, dark (not true), and too popular to entice me. Well.... what can I say? A friend of mine introduced me to the soundtrack, and I decided I wanted to learn more about what hobbits were and what Tolkien's elves looked like. Then, when I moved to Andy and Angela's, I read a portion of their copy of The Hobbit, the prequel, if you will, to LOTR. I'm glad I gave in.